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The Writings of Guy Bensusan
We all know the phrase, "Ivory Tower --- though it clearly has diverse meaning from one person to another, depending on age, circumstance, location, degree of involvement, as well perhaps as one's stance on the elephant-demise question.
Universities face several kinds of revolution-evolution crisis, including demand for courses and programs from students who will not come to a central campus, nor enter classrooms. They pay taxes too, and promises have been made that will be kept in one way or another.
Wal-mart has been frequently mentioned in our conversations, so I herewith offer some limericky, cheeky-tongue-in thoughts on the excursion of Sam Walton (Wal-mart) into the field of education.
"Ivy-Covered Halls at Sam Walton's Pond."
Our One-Stop-Shop higher degrees
all have course-design aiming to please.
You can scoot right along
fix your car, write your song
and accumulate credits with ease.
And for hands-on types' scholarly bent
such as research in En-Vi-Ron-Ment,
we have scanners to sell
plus CD Roms as well
as sleeping bag, cookstove and tent
Our profs come from far or nearby,
(their old jobs at wells that went dry)
while they still edu-speak
laced with Latin or Greek;
we're re-treading them fast on the fly.
They wear their blue vests and a rose;
they love to debate and it shows,
they conjecture with strength
but will lecture at length
so TAKE CARE how you word what you pose.
Every Section creates their new classes,
Fashion Sixteen for teen lasses
Foods Twenty-One
meets at Snacks for their fun,
while in Fishing you go and catch basses.
We don't teach with lecture and test
'cause that's not the way one learns best;
you'll advance day by day
in your own special way,
since with us you are always our guest.
Our computers link-up store-to-store
and they're ON seven times twenty-four;
you may log-in from home
or from your RV roam,
so how could you ever want more ?
And with languages, cultural styles
you can either choose tapes from our files,
or chat with folks from somewhere
who are eager to share
and exchange, as you shop through the aisles
This way to learn gives you zeal !
Though we'll stop now and then for a meal
then go back and compute,
interact and dispute
over who builds the best edu-deal.
Ag courses meet in the nursery
pharmacy at the disbursary,
plus the cookies and drinks
hi-jinks and sly winks
celebrating each day's anniversary.
We can offer you financial aid
from deals which the government made;
you don't have to push
when you're dealing with Bush
and the rebate checks just have been paid.
We will soon have a merger or two
like what's doing with Home Depot U,
Learn to plaster your wall,
run new lights down the hall
while support from Voc.Ed.gets you through.
In today's life it's obviously true,
that you gotta have smarts to get through.
so if YOU want the knowledges
forget costly colleges,
and go to your new Wal-mart-U.
And our rollbacks most surely will please
all the Sam's Club and Super-Storees
whether master's or doctor's
or fees to the proctors
you will never go broke by degrees.
Guy Bensusan, Phd. is Senior Faculty Associate for
NAUNet, Online Learning and Interactive Television
Professor, Department of Humanities, Arts & Religion,
NAU-Mohave, 1971 Jagerson Ave, Kingman AZ 86401
voice:928-757-0818; Fax: 928-757 0811, cell: 928-606-4127